more driving...

You are in your car.

You are passing a large vehicle.

Cannot see road signs.

Miss exit.

Grimace.

driving.....

You are in your car

You need the toilet.

You stop at a small garage and buy petrol.

Ask to use facilities.

Cannot as key is broken.

Grimace.

aggravating syndromes...

Heat Aggravation:

·                 Heat disruption

·                 Sweat confusion

·                 Dizzy anger

·                 Slowness

·                 Red cabbage face

Pedestrian Aggravation:

·                 Bumping madness

·                 Dodging confusion

·                 Head down texters

·                 Umbrella rudeness

·                 Disgorging bus bustle

·                 Chains of families

·                 kids

annoying.....

We have now considered your details very carefully in relation to the ideal candidate specification for the above role. Our client and Consult are working in very close partnership together and we have invested a lot of time meeting key people from the business; understanding the existing team dynamic; and therefore ideal requirements and background for these roles.

Thank you for applying for the position of Talent Attraction Specialist.

We have now completed our initial selection process and unfortunately on this occasion we will not be taking your application further.

Thanks for the update. I'm not currently working on any assignments that don't have a strong expectation to see candidates with a background in banking or financial services. I will contact you if and when that changes. Many thanks for making contact and good luck with your search.

If you are disappointed please try and hold your head high and try try again....

people......aaahhhhhhhh

Annoying:

I am still finding pavements annoying. This is especially true for busy ones with lots of pedestrians. Even more so for pavements passing shops, bus stops, train stations, supermarkets and football grounds. Other people are a pain.

reason no. 272

other people.

stereotypes....

It annoys me that stereotypes are consistently given a hard time. They are infact tremendously useful and in this modern day when nobody has time for anybody the are instrumental in allowing us to decide whether or not to bother meeting someone. Granted, if you dig a little deeper than the surface you might find (very possibly) that someone has many qualities and redeeming characteristics that you never thought were there e.g I am Scottish. I may look dour and mean...

...but just meet me and you will be pleasantly surprised by my warmth, generosity, wit and charm.....

.....stereotypes.....useful but mostly wrong......!

simply poetry........

I think about jobs a lot. I am watching panorama just now. It is about unemployment. It is depressing. I have written an account of my job search experience using the medium of poetry. This is my new method for expressing feelings and stuff:

My Job Journey: Bexley Heath to Uxbridge:

Sweet pea in the hot South

Online was too long

3 dimensions and she is closer to me

University in the cold North East

I took severance

The job was not for me

Birbeck was my first

Three against me

And the job went internally

Male grooming polishing my face

Ironing shirts and tying ties

I have to break into this rat race

EDF in Bexley Heath was a long way

I spoke not of corporate competency

They said no to me

Then to Uxbridge I roared

Annadarko greeted me

But felt I would be bored

BP in Sunbury with a free bus

Interview was good

Did you not read my CV

Gazprom with offices by the water so fine

We spoke of coordination and experience

Thought it was beneath me so it wasn’t mine

I thought the Union would be fair

Interview was dry and dull

I don’t despair

RBL is a modern place

Red poppy in my jacket

Close but no cigar

Chinese conglomerate by the park

Human resources for them

I missed the mark

Amec was the place to be

Interview was long and interesting

Feedback was not for me

Charity job was temporary

I went and saw

We never met again

MacMillan was not once but twice

Knocked back times two

Me thinks this is not for you

Construction company at Kings Cross

Mix up in selection suitability

This was a dead loss

Microsoft with all its technology

Interviewer tried to advise and redirect

So why interview me

Agencies must see me

Passport please

Market getting busy

Off to ping pong school for me

Barack didn’t stay

For them I was wrong

Working for a community trust

Stop gap vacancy

With no interview this is a must

Telephone interview was new

What are you saying

This is not for you

Equinox for my healthcare

Didn’t need an interview

This opportunity is rare

Business School in a beautiful place

Talking and testing

They did not want to employ my face

Wellcome thanks to Henry

This place is amazing

I had poor competency

Oil and gas in South Quay

With my diving experience I sold myself

No onshore success for me

Now a temporary assignment

There for one day

This job was not meant

VSO job for me

My recruitment skills are strong

Shame it is only temporary

Feedback is always strong

The recession making it harder

Permanently glued to the internet

Permanent opportunities are out there

But now I am being social

The battle goes on and on…..

...along the winding road!

jobs jobs and jobs......

Sometimes when you are waiting for a bus nothing comes along for ages and then three come all at once. All going the right way so what do you do? I had a job hunt day like this last week. After a period of relentless generic knock backs and one false start I suddenly had three offer (2 interviews and one certainty) sitting in my lap. After much thought and bill destroying phone calls I opted (sensibly) for the position which involved no interview. This has got to make sense?

On we go.......

automatic doors.......

When you in a shop or an office building the chances are that you will at some point have to pass through automatic doors. Is it not annoying that as you approach they are already open (someone else having just passed through) but as you pass through they threaten to close or actually close? This has happened to me and I find it annoying, embarrassing and stupid. I think having seen someone 'assassinated' by this some years ago on a Bond film it has left me scared and fearful.

Have I got too much time on my hands?

Thanks.

litter......

Does it annoy you when people (in the street, in cars.....) nonchalantly show they have no respect for cleanliness (or.....Godliness?) and happily deposit their junk in public places?

An example of this would be smokers. This is a crime against society I see all too often. Having just purchased their latest batch of cancerous sticks and in the desperation to feed that addiction the cellophane wrapping is quickly torn from the packet, the inner foil wrap is tossed to one side and the, glory be too all, the fag is stuffed into a mouth and lit. Then with the first draw their eyes light up and all is well. Apart from the litter and death.

Good luck.

speed......

This is a good example of my searching for work blog morphing into this one about stuff that annoys me. Having had a job recently for one whole (hole?) day I am now caught up in the benefits 'rapid reclaim' system. In my excitement at having a poorly paid temp job I hurried to the fone and called the DSS to share in my good news. More fool me......

.....now that I am getting back into the system I feel safe and secure. All wrapped up in a warm feeling that society does care and whatever I do I will be cushionned from the harsh realities of life. No waaay!

I am a product of my own actions and these are sometimes right and sometimes wrong. I will carry on dotting eyes and crossing teas as I fight hard to find my niche.

On the outside looking in......

......

thanks.....

coffee shops....

I am finding high street coffee shops to be increasingly annoying. These generic 'refreshment' stores offer many things. This range of caffeine related products....

...are at the root of my annoyance. When all you want is a coffee you are forced to choose from a range of stuff that makes no sense (much like buying products to was your hair. See previous post). All I want is coffee but have to decide between frappe enhanced mocha choca slim decaff flowery sparkly added dusting coffee or fruity water based tea drinks. 'Thank you sir, that will be £3.90 and will be served with a false but well meaning smile in approx 3 hours. Can I stamp your card or offer you one of our highly flavorsome muffins. Credit is available....'

aaaaaaaaah, coffee please......I have an addiction that needs pleasing please.......

.......I have ongoing issues......

personal grooming....

As I slide gracefully into my middle years it has become more important to me to look after my, once youthful, rugged good looks. Whereas, in years gone, by I was quite happy to rub wet porridge into my face as a cleansing and exfoliating treatment it now seems that I have to spend 10 hard earned pounds on emulsifying beauty treatments. These can get rid of lines, debag my eyes and make me feel very very soft. My lines are caused by laughter (inappropriate and spontaneous), the bags are from worrying about cosmetics and I don't want to be soft. I can live with these hardships but an area that I find really quite annoying is my hair. Buying shampoo is not an easy or straightforward process for the impatient, ill-informed modern man. I am this man. Is my hair limp, frizzy, coloured, bouncy, greasy or dry? I don't know. It is on my head I can't see it. I just want to wash it with something that isn't fairy liquid. What about the hair poking from my ears and peeking out of my nose? This is not easy so I have bought a selection of shampoos that are either going to clean my hair or turn it purple befrore it falls out. I am also trying to find work just now so I want to look polished, smart and sane. Please help......

names and numbers...

When you are looking for an address and you find that streets are not named and buildings have no numbers. That annoys me quite greatly. Worse when you are looking for a building number and suddenly where there are none you see the number '3'. Stupid stupid name for a shop........

manners......driving....

On the ongoing ever expanding subject of 'manners' I am currently on holiday up in Scotland so have hired a car to get about (my tractor was sold when I arrived in London). When people are going left or right should they not, maybe, indicate this intention? Instead it seems that many prefer to keep this information to themselves. Have they sat driving tests? Do they have any road sense? Have they got brains? This aggravates me and causes stress and shouting.

manners......

......maketh man........but it seems that many people haven't been made with any at all. Men and women. Pedestrians (again) sprawled across a pavement busy texting or suddenly, inexplicably and pointlessly stopping. Walking out of shops and barging into you. What about the rude people who insist on using every bank card that they have at an autobank? I hope bricks fall on them. From a great height. Bumping into you with neither a look or a word.....where do these people come from and why do they know no better? It fills me with dismay, anger and unfulfilled desires!

annoyed - 27/04/2011

Trying hard to get annoyed today but just can't find a frown. I blame the sun. Aha, that makes me annoyed. And sneezy. Stupid sun. Always bright and sunny.

Went to streatham job centre today. It annoys me that people think these places are for wasters and job shy loafers. I saw plenty eager looking job hunters today. Maybe with the imminent Royal Wedding everyone was feeling their spirits to be raised slightly in these very very depressing times?

Keeping smiling......

This defeats the purpose of this blog I think? Must try harder......

pedestrains 2

Pedestrians, gob bless, are still annoying me. Isn't it annoying when one of them merges with your intended route (walking in same direction) only to find that they are going at excatly the same pace as you. You can't pass them without putting on a sudden burst of speed, stopping to look in a shop, pretending to be waiting for a bus or, the old classic, doing up your shoe lace. I'm going to start using the streets between the hours of 12pm and 6 am to avoid this problem. Thanks.

autobanks

Do you hate when standing waiting for your turn at an autobank when the person ahead of you decides to try and use every bank card they have. It's not like I'm in a hurry or need to get on with my day. No no, you just faff about looking for that missing card and I will wait patiently whilst my life slowly passes by. Then it starts raining....aaaggghhhhhh.......

Maybe I should exercise greater patience..? Perhaps others should show some consideration..?

humour......failures...

Is it just me or do some people suffer from a chronic lack of humour? Have funny bones been removed at birth to make way for straighter faces? It may well be that my sense of hilarity, fun and a good old fashioned laugh are all slightly off kilter. But I don't think so. It is possible that I am not funny at all? I could have a distorted sense of my own worth and my funniness is just a figment of my imagination. I spend a lot of time on my own laughing. Not out loud. That would be mad....

laughter has made my face odd.......

queues...

Moving on from, but closely linked too, pedestrains are queues in shops. These are invariably congested by the aforementionned pedestrians. All the annoying characteristics continue with some new additions. People who barge in ahead of you are annoying and should be instantly evicted by the motionless security guard. They should have a life ban. People (mostly women) who fiddle about in their bottomless bags to find their purse so that they can then count out to the very exact penny the amount they are being charged. They have been in the queue already for 10 mins. Could they not have anticipated the cash for goods and services transaction at the till? I find post offices very useful but equally annoying. The number of people who visit them to deal with a months worth of household administration is mind boggling. I want some stamps. I wait 20 minutes. More full me? Banks can be categorized in similar fashion. More people need the internet. I am staying in more.

pedestrians...

I find pedestrians annoying. I know that I am a pedestrian too when I venture into the outside world. I am not annoying one though. I do not amble along at smails pace. I do notwander across the pavement head down as I text my 'mayte' about tonights adventures or what is needed for tea (these people should be 'bumped' into lamp posts or cars). I am not trailing about a sqaudron of crying kids and sweeping all before me. I do not walk out of shops and instantly stop moving. I do not make sudden stops. I am staying inside.